@DamarisToma

To My Sister Eunice…

Hey Sissy Poo,

Today, you turn 28, and I unfortunately cannot be there with you to celebrate. I can, however, write you a very heartfelt letter, publicly, and then get away with not buying you a gift, yet. I’m a genius! And like a true genius, I revealed my plot, so that I am always one step ahead of you! Ok, so now that I’ve managed to get a joke out of my system in the very first paragraph, we can finally get down to the nitty gritty (Nacho Libre reference #1).

First, you should know that you are absolutely the best sister any girl could ever ask for. Even if I were to create someone from scratch, I don’t think I could have concocted someone quite as amazing as you. Thank you for always allowing me to tag along with you and your friends when I was little, and for always managing to share the blame with me when we’d get in trouble with mom and dad, even though we all know I was, without fail, 99% responsible for most mischief! Thank you for always believing in me and pushing me to be the best. Thank you for never allowing me to settle and always challenging me to bigger and better things. Thank you for always leading by example, since we all know I respond well to orders! Ha! And thank you, for teaching me a butt-load-of-crap about the gospel (Nacho Libre reference #2).

Bottom line, you are and always will be the best big sister, ever! I love you very much, and wish you millions of blessings in this life. Pretty sure I want better things for you in this life than I actually do for myself, because that’s how much I love you, so never forget that. And also, please understand that I will use this letter as a “Get Out Of Jail” free card, next time I manage to piss you off, but that was probably a given.

Love you Sissy Poo!

Your younger, smarter, funnier, and clearly more humble sister,

Damaris